Rebecca, Day 49 (still catching up!)

49. Develop equanimity. If every little thing that happens to you sends you into anger or stress, your life might never be simple. Learn to detach yourself, and be more at peace.

I've been reading The power of now : a guide to spiritual enlightenment (Eckhart Tolle), which is an odd but somehow brilliant book. I definitely understand why it's been critiqued as being a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. But from what I've read so far, one of its major arguments is that we should all develop detachment from emotional stressors (though Tolle doesn't phrase it that way). I've been mulling this over and using modifying some of his strategies to be a bit more peaceful about things.

For example, Tolle argues that your mind is not yourself, but we all get tricked into thinking that we are our minds. Okaaay, whatever. But his point is that sometimes, we can look critically at the course our thoughts are taking and take note of unhealthy ruts -- eg., being prompted by X to dwell on Y and feel Z.

The general idea self-awareness and stopping to recognize stress triggers seems a good way to develop equanimity.

Christa, Day 48 and Day 49: Miles and Miles of Files and the Unpossibility of Detachment

Yesterday's voluntary simplicity idea made this suggestion:

Simplify your filing system. Stacking a bunch of papers just doesn’t work. But a filing system doesn’t have to be complicated to be useful. Create a simple system.

I just now put away the last of my pending files. After reading the referenced blog post, I can honestly say that what I am good at is having all of my pertinent paper in one drawer (putting aside what's in the fire safe) and what I am bad at is filing those papers immediately. Yes, I have stacks. Or had, since today I took those stacks, recycled what was unnecessary, and actually filed the stacks. I know for a fact that new stacks will grow. Oh well. Overall, there are so many people who are worse at this than I am. Hopefully my filing system is clear enough for my husband to find what he'd need in the event that I died or was in a coma or decided to run away to Mars.

And on that cheery note, onto today's simplification idea!

Develop equanimity. If every little thing that happens to you sends you into anger or stress, your life might never be simple. Learn to detach yourself, and be more at peace. Read more.

The really really big bad things? I cope with those with a calm, almost zombie-like attachment. (In my world, zombies get the giggles.) The driver who turns without signaling? Sends me into a fit of rage that can stick with me throughout my commute. I am not sure what wires got crossed in my brain to make me this way, but it's part of why I'm better at working alone than with others.

Little things at work drive me CRAZY. People asking me to edit their work, as if my having an English degree means I have nothing better to do than proofread the world's writing. Sometimes my husband's chewing drives me crazy. Really low volume music drives me crazy. LOTS of things drive me crazy. Not good, right?

But I try to achieve upeksa. I have these weird little tricks I use. Like when someone is driving badly, I tell myself a story that explains it. They're rushing to the hospital where their hurt child is being treated. They were just let go from their job. They're feeling sick and need to poo badly. Or I breath deeply and remind myself that there are people who are actually suffering real injustices in that moment. Or I just tell myself that I need to stop getting so emotional over first world problems. I practice empathy and understanding. (Okay, I try.)

And so on. My husband is, 99% of the time, an absolute pillar of upesksa, and that helps, too, since he does not hesitate to tell me to quit getting so angry over nothing. Which is good, but also ANGER INDUCING. What a catch 22 that is, right? What's my homework for today... let's see... how about starting with the road and the drivers and the delays. This week, I will try to achieve upeksa while driving to and from work. Wish me luck!

Julia's Day 49: Feelings...nothing more than feelings

I have a serious lack of equanimity mainly because I take everything personally. And that's bad. But I am trying to change.