Oops! - or - Look, I'm saaaaaaaaaaaaailing!

I've been thinking a lot about What About Bob the past few days. It might have something to do with vacationing on the east coast and having access to my father-in-law's sail boat..and it might be that I imagined having to tie myself to the mast when Christopher decides to captain said boat with the boy and I on board. Not that I'm afraid of sailing, I mean we're just puttering around the bay. And it certainly has nothing to do with the fact that in the 9 years I've known my husband he has never once piloted a boat. I mean, there was that 30 minute "how to" lesson his father gave him the other day. *coughcough* Anyway...

Remember that moment in the movie when Richard Dreyfuss realizes that he's been overlooking the things that matter most to him (his family and to his surprise, Bob) and letting less important things (his career and fame) take priority? Well I think I've had that moment myself, only on accident.

Before the vacation started I remember thinking that while we are here I'd still keep up with the 72 Ideas project - writing every day and posting or back-posting as I was able to connect and most likely in the evenings after the sun went down. The reality, however, is that I am spending all of my time with my family and away from the computer. Well, most of my time away from the computer (obviously) anyway. Which, if you think about it is kind of in-line with the whole concept of sticking to your core values. So really..I think I'm winning right now.

And hey! I'm getting daily exercise by way of swimming and eating nothing but fresh foods (mostly veggies and fish). I told the husband I was swearing off anything fried starting day 1 of the vacation onward (which is killing me because I love fried clams but whatever). His job is to be my gentle reminder. Emphasis on gentle. He asked me exactly how he could go about reminding me without a) embarrassing me in front of his family and b) pissing me off. I had to think about this because I am nothing if not testy when it comes to other people policing my behaviors. In the end I decided all he had to say was, "Honey, remember you asked me to remind you...?" and I would get it, he wouldn't get the look and no one else would realize the implications. Beautiful.

So here I am, on vacation, still working on something that matters to me (the simplicity project) while focusing on the core values (friends, family, health) and not tying myself to the computer or schedules unnecessarily.

Right on.

Mastering My Tasks

Today's prompt suggests we evaluate how we spend our day so that we can see how much of our time is spent on those things that mean the most to us. I won't make a list of what I do, exactly, because it would only embarrass me to share with you the myriad ways in which I waste time that would be better spent on other things that actually matter. The number one thing I waste time doing, though, is sitting at my computer. Whether it is blogging, checking social networks or article jumping - too much time is spent doing it.

With that in mind, I'm going to do that thing that people do to their children...give myself a time limit. I know how long it takes me to blog, a task I enjoy, and check email and whatnot. So I'm just going to give myself X amount of time to do that a day. And, hello, my iPad dings when I have new email so I really don't need to log in 10 times a day hoping that I'll hear from a literary agent or maybe my mom. Which will shockingly open up tons of time for things like: daily exercise, taking the boy child to the park or zoo, concentrating on writing and sketching out illustrations for books and getting things that need done actually done early enough that the husband and I can enjoy those few hours the kids are both asleep before I have to pass out from parenting exhaustion.

Of course, that will all start after I get back from vacation. Because I'm about to spend two weeks on the coast with family and meeting up with friends, largely disconnected from the computer and with sketchbooks in hand during down time.

They say it takes 10 days to create a habit. Here's hoping the next 16 will help me develop habits that matter.

Commit Me

So today's prompt is to evaluate your commitments and chuck what isn't in line with those core values you came up with on the first day. I'm guessing this one operates under the contemporary assumption that everyone puts too much into their day, into their kids' days, etc etc and we have no face-to-face time anymore. And, yeah, for some people that's true. In my case not so much.

Remember that whole "procrastination is a way of life" thing I said yesterday? Well, after reading today's task it became glaringly obvious that this statement is a bold fact.

I don't have any commitments to chuck in order to pave the way for those things important in my life. I don't really have many commitments at all, really. And any I do have are directly tied to my list.

Play groups so the boy gets to interact with peers.
Swim class so the children don't drown in the neighbors literal inground cesspool.
Meetings with various therapists so the boy can get into EI Preschool classes.
Doctor appointments of various kinds because everyone needs to be healthy.
Weekly dinners/activities with the inlaws to keep in touch with them.
Tri-weekly/monthly phone calls to my parents to keep in touch with them.
Attempted weekly/biweekly activities with friends for the same reason.
Daily email exchanges with my best friend to keep in touch with her.
Occasional business related meetings or deadlines.

It sounds like a lot but it isn't really. Not on a day-to-day basis.

Perhaps I have failure to launch syndrome?

I mean, there are other commitments - little, but imperitive things, that need to be done for the house to function. Laundry, cleaning, dishes, cooking, gardening, etc. But I don't carry them out very efficiently.

I definitely have a 'failure to commit' problem. Not relationship-wise, I think that is probably one area of my life, along with parenting, that I put the most effort into on a daily basis. But all of the other areas fall by the wayside.

Personal health, aside from scheduling and attending doctor visits, is at the outer edge of my radar. I need to actually schedule time for that.

Happiness, well that is in among those other things but I really should schedule some specific time for that too.

And marriage? We have only had one date since the birth of my son three years ago that did not fall on our anniversary. One. It was amazing, that one non-anniversary date. Rejuvenating in so many ways. It was also the first time I've allowed myself to relax and have a beer (or four) since getting pregnant four years ago. We need more of that. Definitely need to take up one of the many friends who have offered on watching the kids for us so we can do it again.

I guess today's thought has taught me that rather than pairing down my commitments..I need to get committed in the first place.

Valued Core

I made no preparations for this project, this exploration of self and lifestyle in order to achieve simplicity. In part because I have a tendency to put things off until the last moment. Even in college I could be found with books and articles spread around me on my bed, organized in piles of where I thought they'd be most useful, as I created the first digital page for a paper due the next day. Procrastination is a way of life for me in many ways.

The other reason I did not look over the list, or even stare at the first day's thought, so that I could have an idea ahead of time of what I wanted to say or how it could be applied to my life is because I have small two children that keep me busy. In many ways my life could be viewed as simple: I am a stay at home mother of two kids.  But the reality is that I have two small children to care for, my son has been undergoing evaluation for a preschool program he'll start at the tender age of nearly 3, a house I struggle to keep some shade of tidy, a marriage I work hard to cultivate and keep healthy, friendships I try to stay connected with and a desire for professional development in the worst way. Which can be very very far from simple.

It does, however, make the first day's thought easy. For the most part.

Without repeating the question, which other contributors have provided and can be found readily here, I will share with you my list of most important people, things or ideas that will temper the remainder of this journey.

1. My Children
2. My Marriage
3. My Relationship with Others
4. Health Happiness Health
5. Success Career Happiness Feeling Accomplished.

What's interesting about this question is that the first three answers to what I value most were easy as pie. I value the people in my life. I could have simplified the list even further and just put "the people in my life" as #1, I suppose, but I'm not sure it would have made it any easier to figure out the rest of the list.

Health is something that is important to me. My physical and emotional health, although I don't necessarily tend to them as I should, are almost always on my mind for various reasons.

That last one, though, was the hardest to put into words. I desire to be successful in some way that I'm not sure I can properly define. On the surface I link this idea with work, which is why Career was the second term I considered. I am a graphic designer, work that I love and am good at although I am not currently doing much of it professionally. I am a photographer, again something I love and strive to better myself at. Currently I am exploring my lifetime love of imagination and working towards being a published author/illustrator of children's books. And yeah I hope that one of the projects I'm attached to that are out there being considered, or one of the projects I have filed away in my idea book, takes off and gets published and opens the door for further published work, but I'm not looking for fame or fortune.

When I boil it down a bit, what I am seeking is a sense of self-fulfillment. I have many dreams, many areas of interest, and I want to prosper at one of them. This isn't just defined by a professional life though, it includes being a good mother to my children and being a better gardener (the weeds are winning at present), etc.

I want, I think, to feel perfectly happy with my level of achievement with some dream instead of always feeling like I am slipping behind, not quite good enough or not even trying in the first place.

I want to feel like I have finally accomplished something.