Christa, Day 42 and Day 43: Epic Fail!

Outer simplicity? Can do. Voluntarily simplifying my inner turmoil? Well, that's where you've got me. I'm calm. I'm freaking out. Or am I...

See I am one of those weirdos for whom freaking out is inextricably linked from working it out. Panic is my way of occupying the unpleasant energy coursing through my person so I can work out a solution to the problem at hand using my brain. Without a little therapeutic panic, my brain is too busy doing a frantic lambada dance with all of the physical sensations that come with bottled up stress. Letting it out gives my brain the room it needs to really think. My husband cannot stand this. But it works for me.

Here's yesterday's voluntary simplicity idea:

Find inner simplicity. I’m not much of a spiritual person, but I have found that spending a little time with my inner self creates a peaceful simplicity rather than a chaotic confusion. This could be time praying or communing with God, or time spent meditating or journaling or getting to know yourself, or time spent in nature. However you do it, working on your inner self is worth the time.

My inner world? NOT simple. Chaotic confusion is my resting state, 95% of the time. I stress about the little things. Remain calm through the big things. Actually, I giggle through the bad things. Do not try to have a serious conversation with me ever because I will invariably want to laugh and trying not to laugh will cause me to look like a gargoyle. Long story short: I know myself well enough to know that my inner self is anything but peaceful or simple. Note that I am not twirling my hair around my finger like a 15 year old and saying "I'm, like' really deep." Because, baby, I am as shallow as a puddle. What you see is what you get.

Maybe I should be working on that. I don't know. What I do know: I suck at meditating, but I've never given it a really good go and I hear there is a learning curve. I like to spend time out of doors, and nature is okay when it's not mosquito season or chainsaw psycho season. My daily prayers are usually of the panicked variety, and I'll leave you to figure out what that means. I sort of journal. But, heh, even as I write this, I'm spiraling into inner turmoil caused by my own tendency to feel envy, worry, fear, and so on. Like Julia, I am much too good at imagining the worst case outcome of ANYTHING.

That said, my homework is to find an effective way to not only get to know myself, but also to help myself change.

Which brings me to today's voluntary simplicity idea:

Learn to decompress from stress. Every life is filled with stress — no matter how much you simplify your life, you’ll still have stress (except in the case of the ultimate simplifier, death). So after you go through stress, find ways to decompress. Here are some ideas.

My stress relievers: deep breathing in stressful moments, reading in the calm before the storm, and exercising every day. I figured out way before it was trendy or medically indicated that getting a good sweat on was pretty much the best way to control my manic mind and my pessimistic heart. Am I a low-stress person? Far from it. But I think I at least have a handle on my stress levels and my reaction to stress. (Though I doubt my husband would agree!)