Be present. These two words can make a huge difference in simplifying your life. Living here and now, in the moment, keeps you aware of life, of what is going on around you and within you. It does wonders for your sanity.
My computer was out of commission for the past few days and co-currently my anxiety level started to peak. I am not certain if the two are related but I have read enough psychological studies about writing to know that maintaining a steady schedule of writing (particularly personal writing) decreased your stress levels [if this is interesting to you, please read: James W. Pennebaker, PhD, "Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions (1990)]. I feel a sense of relief to be back to posting about this project.
The idea of "Being Present" is something I know a lot about. I would certainly not call myself an expert but educated on the subject. I have read lots of books and articles over the years, gone to workshops, watched documentaries, listened to CD's by Ram Dass, Jon Kabat Zinn and others who extol the benefits of mindfulness. Being educated on mindfulness and being a person who actively practices being present are two different things though. Mindfulness is a difficult task to master.
It's interesting that its #24 on the list. It makes sense too that as you begin to clear the physical clutter, you are able to clear away the mental clutter. If the list began with "Be Present" no one would undertake the rest of the 71 tasks. Our physical environment can seem so daunting that once you begin to simplify it, your mental landscape seems less like a trash dump and more like a beach at low tide a bit of debris but still plenty of room to spread out your blanket, chair and umbrella.
I am very conscious of being present. I work on letting go of the past-past and even the recent past. I certainly can ruminate on things but they don't have that vice grip hold on me anymore. When they surface its more like someone grabbing my wrist to get my attention. One thing I feel that I don't do anymore is live in the future. "If I just did this...If only I could...When I... "these sentences could be completed in many different ways. I do believe that when you start to fixate on life changes for the future particularly changes that would make your present state of being better you are definitely not "being present." Don't get my wrong I have thoughts about the future. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up but I really like my present.
I feel content with my ability to stay present. I am aware when it gets unmanageable. I know my triggers particularly I can feel it in my body when I am not present. The vibration of anxiety starts to linger in my throat and chest. My hands get tingly and I am desperate not to be alone. I also talk a lot. Ironically I appear really distant because I know I am feeling desperate so I am terrified that you might find out. This is the true power of the cognitive distortion because we convince ourselves that our inner thoughts are visible when in reality they are not.
So I am going to end with a quote as I feel like my post is getting a bit rambly and unfocused:
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why they call it the Present."
I have a big problem with dwelling on the past and thinking about what I won't get in the future. What's helped me is having P., just because it's pretty easy to tell myself that if I live in the past or future, I'm going to miss HER present.
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