Sunday, September 4, 2011

Christa, Day 21: I Like Alone Time When It's My Kind of Alone Time

For me, a huge part of voluntary simplicity involves freeing up time otherwise wasted on overly complex tasks or unnecessary time intensive activities so I can spend more of my time doing what I want to do. That might be getting down on the floor to play with my daughter. Or making money. It could be exercising or keeping the car cleaner or some other thing that's not particularly important to anyone but me. The way I see it, voluntary simplicity means something different to everyone, and that's okay. We all have our preferences and we all have our thresholds of comfort.

Today's idea:
Spend time alone. See this list of ways to free up time for yourself — to spend in solitude. Alone time is good for you, although some people aren’t comfortable with it. It could take practice getting used to the quiet, and making room for your inner voice. It sounds new-agey, I know, but it’s extremely calming. And this quiet is necessary for finding out what’s important to you.
Day 21 is rooted in solitude and its benefits. Many people assume that solitude has to be lonely, but that's just not true. What is true is that finding time for solitude can be difficult, especially when you have a family. I know my husband would like more alone time to work on projects or just relax. My need for alone time is not nearly as acute, and often when I do have a chance to utilize solitude, I make use of it in the most practical way possible. Usually by working or doing chores that are more easily done without a toddler hanging around.

But I suppose I still do need at least some alone time to thrive. In the past, I've just spent that time doing what I want to do. I had the most solitude I've ever known when I lived in Costa Rica and I filled it by walking and staring out into the sea and reading book after book and swimming twice a day and little chores. The point is, I filled it. I sure didn't spend it making room for my inner voice.

(And I think that's okay. Some people get a lot out of meditation - my meditation is losing myself in a task. Or so I tell myself and hope I'm not actually sabotaging some amazing life changing experience I could be having.)

Honestly, I don't necessarily relish the idea of unproductive solitude. When I sit by myself for any length of time, what comes into my head is always ideas. So I get up, because I want to pursue those ideas! Even if my award winning idea is something like 'Let's find that book I've been thinking about so I can read it.' And that's actually more of the kind of alone time I want. Really want.

Not working alone time.


Or alone time filled with chores.


And especially not alone time filled with worry.

When I read today's item, my first thought was that I'd like to be able to spend my lunch hour, which I'm lucky enough to enjoy at home most days, doing things that are relaxing or fun or creative. Like reading that book or starting a painting or working on a sewing project that doesn't have any real deadline. Baking some muffins or just sitting outside as the weather gets chillier so I can say goodbye to summer properly. Doing these things means working more effectively when it comes to my contract work so I don't feel compelled to do professional tasks during my lunch hour.

And I find the idea of THAT more valuable than I find the idea of sitting for an hour letting my inner monologue get carried away or listening to myself breathe. If it works for you, awesome. I'd rather be doing something.

What are your thoughts on meditative solitude? Has that kind of alone time worked for you?


1 comment:

  1. I'm glad I am not the only one who doesn't always do well with meditation. I've tried, but it always turns into time spent coming up with some crazy project or getting all anxious. I like better the idea of spending time alone as a way of suggesting that we set aside time for things that make us feel centered and balanced, and if reading and sewing and saying goodbye to summer do that for you, then get to reading and sewing and saying goodbye.

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