Natalie: Where does my time go? (3 of 72)

Evaluate your time. How do you spend your day? What things do you do, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? Make a list, and evaluate whether they’re in line with your priorities. If not, eliminate the things that aren’t, and focus on what’s important. Redesign your day.

I have been having the thought "where does my time go" all day. It's actually been a bit daunting to realize that as much as I "do" on a day to day basis I am also a major procrastinator. For instance I have known for most of this year that I am teaching a new course in a couple of weeks and I have still not written the syllabus. I think about it all the time however the anxiety of it not being perfect or being "wrong" (self imposed assumption) keeps me from plowing into it. Mind you I think about it constantly, have been reading the textbook and have some awesome ideas for assignments. In general, I am really excited to be teaching this class but I freeze when it comes to getting the work done. This is a general procrastination theme. Yes I use things like mindless facebook checking as well as the jawbreaker game on my phone to "waste time" but my major time drainer is my own anxiety and insecurity.

I have two types of weekdays: work days and A. days (days spent with my son). On work days, I head to my job, do drop off or pick up with daycare, come home and make dinner. On A. days I plan a morning activity, come home for nap (A.'s nap not mine...okay on occasion mine) but during nap I usually do household chores, check e-mails, read, etc. When A wakes afternoon activity, dinner, etc. I know this sounds like a fairly structured routine but there is a lot of television watching that goes on. I realize the TV is always on. I grew up in a home where it was always background noise. I still need it. Evening's are tough as A. is really hard to get to bed and will fight bedtime and sometimes not end up falling asleep until 9pm. I am zonked by then.

Weekends we are always out doing stuff as a family. I didn't have that when I was a kid and I think I try to overcompensate for it with my little family unit so I household stuff, de-cluttering, re-organizing does not happen. This coming weekend all we have is one child's birthday party and I have decided to see what it likes to "stay home" and work around the house. I have to say that I have been disgusted with the amount of stuff in my home. I actually cleaned out a shelf in my linen closet today that had make-up and other toiletries in there that were years old.

I feel weighed down by stuff to the point of mental paralysis. I go dumb when I look around my home and the voice inside my head (which is my own) is screaming like someone buried alive in a coffin 6 feet under (clearly I watch way too much TV) about the piles and excess crap. It does not help that I have a mom addicted to QVC who is forever buying and sending me more stuff. She does not listen to "no" or she does this annoying guilt-trippy silent treatment thing. Sometimes its easier to accept the packages from the UPS driver.

So much to think about but feeling like I have the makings of a plan. This weekend, I will be posting a bunch of OFFERS on freecycle. I have 5 things in mind already. I will also be heading to my nearest thrift shops and food pantries with donations.